


Goodbye Letters

by Bastet5



Series: The Wild Hunt [16]
Category: FBI: Most Wanted (TV 2020)
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skeletons In The Closet, Team Dynamics, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bastet5/pseuds/Bastet5
Summary: In the aftermath of Greater Love Hath None, a look at Kateri's goodbye letters that the team did not have to read.
Relationships: Clinton Skye & Original Female Character(s), Kenny Crosby & Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Wild Hunt [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678864
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	1. Jess

On a corner of Kateri’s desk in her apartment sat a small, elaborately carved wooden box. Inside were a small stack of letters written in Kateri’s neat but spiky handwriting. As always, every time she wrote and rewrote those letters, she hoped that they would never see the light of day, that at some point they would be just one more thing to shred when she either had to rewrite them yet again or retired … if that day ever comes. Yet, in her line of work, there was always the risk of an unexpected demise, the risk that for one reason or another Kateri just might not make it back one day. Just in case, the letters would provide one last chance to say goodbye to the team that had meant the world to her for the last five years.

* * *

Dear Jess,

February would have marked five years since that first mission. After our crazy first meeting, when Clinton and Barnes told me that I had been detailed to your team without the word ever getting to me, I remember clearly that one of my first thoughts was, ‘What’s one more thing in my overly complicated life?’ Resignation was much higher in my mind that afternoon about working with you than enthusiasm. I had actually heard of you before that day, though I didn’t know until they brought me to the bus that it was your team I had been assigned to. For the sake of you remembering me fondly, I won’t tell you what I knew of you before that day.

You have heard the horror stories that I have told about upstairs, and I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised about you and about how the team operated. Thank you for taking a chance on me after that first mission together. Thank you for recruiting me. I know some of the stories you would have heard about me would not have exactly been complimentary. I admit keeping my sharp tongue in check has not always been my strong suit, but most bosses (from my experience) don’t have your patience for their underlings pointing out mistakes and flaws. Thank you for taking a chance on me. These years with the team have been some of the best in my life.

It was an honor and a pleasure, boss. Take care, and please look out for Clinton for me. I know he’ll take my death hard, as I would his.

Sincerely,  
Kateri


	2. Hana

Dear Hana,

If you’re reading this, then my nine lives finally ran out. I had hoped these letters would never be needed, but I wrote this for a just-in-case scenario like this. I don’t think I’m very good at writing these letters, but I wanted one last chance to thank you for your friendship these past years and your help with my undercover work. You’re the greatest tech whiz I’ve ever met, and watching you work has always been a popcorn-worthy delight.

These past five years with you and the team have been the best in my life since I was a kid. You and the others have been the family I hadn’t had since my parents died. I always greatly appreciated your help and support, the afternoons with you and Kenny, and the nights we spent together when none of us could sleep.

Thanks for everything. It meant the world.

Take care of yourself.

Kateri


	3. Sheryll

Dear Sheryll,

I had hoped that these letters would never be needed, but even my luck had to run out at some point. Billy always said I had nine lives, but I guess they finally ran out. I was never as close with you as the others—I think addressing this letter is one of the only times I’ve thought of you by any other moniker than just Barnes—but I always counted you as a friend, always valued your guidance and advice, and always treasured the stories and pictures of Anais that you share with the team. You taught me a lot about being an agent, a leader, and an undercover operative, and I hope I was able to teach you some things, as well.

All of my notes and contact lists from my undercover career are being handed over to Organized Crime—NOT my former unit or what’s left of it by now, trust me—and the appropriate other departments, but I have left instructions—requests?—that where possible copies be given to you. Perhaps they might be of use to you in the future, and for my sake some (a comparatively small number but still some) of my contacts will still be willing to help at times, Billy _probably_ included. (Depending on how I died, make sure no word of it gets told to Billy or you might have another fugitive on your hands. Former quarrels or not, he’ll be first-in-line to avenge me if he has his way.)

I know you weren’t sure about me in the beginning, and I wasn’t so sure about you all in the beginning, especially after our rather interesting first meeting, even though you all were worlds better than my former unit. That first little bit, I had to keep fighting the urge to wait for the other shoe to drop. You know why, but I learned why a good team is such a valuable thing to have. I didn’t know what I was missing until I worked with all of you. These years with all of you have been the best in my life since I was a kid, despite the ups and downs and injuries and bad missions. You and the others have been the family I hadn’t had since my parents died.

So, thanks for everything.

Take care of yourself.

Kateri


	4. Kenny

Dear Kenny,

If you’re reading this, I guess I’m dead. I know it’s a corny way of starting this letter, but despite the updates I make to this letter from time to time, I have never managed to figure out a different way to start. Billy always said I had nine lives, but after my career and the scrapes this team has gotten into, I was bound to run out one day. I hope it was quick for your sakes as much as mine, and the rest of you better be alright, or I will find a way to come back and haunt you.

These years with the team have been some of the best in my life. After the craziness of my career before Jess recruited me, I once decried the benefits of having a team and not working alone, but I didn’t understand what I was missing until I met you all. You’ve been excellent coworkers and, more importantly, the family I haven’t had since my parents died.

Thank you for all you have done for me these past almost five years. All you did for me, I was not always able to find the words to truly express my gratitude for it, but your help and support and kindness meant the world to me. Thank you for your friendship, your advice, and your support, especially after my PTSS diagnosis after the December SNAFU. The long talks we had, the time we spent together, what you taught me, I think I would have half-drowned under the nightmares, the anxiety, and the flashbacks without them. Thank you for the late-night conversations and the Insomniacs Club. Some of my skeletons I’ll take with me to the grave, but you know more than few of the rest, and the chance to talk to a willing, friendly ear from someone much more understanding than the shrinks meant the world. I never thought I’d be one for sharing some of those skeletons, but talking actually made some of them easier to bear. Thank you for movie nights and breakfasts and all the runs we took together. I always told my parents I wanted a brother, and it only took twenty years to find you.

So thank you for everything.

Take care of yourself. Whatever happened, don’t blame yourself, either.

And make sure you don’t join me anytime soon.

Fondly yours,  
Kateri


	5. Clinton

Dear Clinton,

I have been deliberately leaving writing my letter for you for the last, because I know it’s going to be so bloody hard to write. It’s a Sunday afternoon, and I finally made myself sit down and my desk to finish this because I can’t keep putting it off just in case. That was four sheets of paper and probably at least an hour ago. I have started this letter like four times and ripped up each copy because I just can’t get it right.

This version will have to do, I suppose.

If you are actually reading this, partner, and this letter is not gathered dust in its box on my desk as I would prefer, I guess my luck finally ran out. It was bound to happen one day sooner or later. Billy always said I had nine lives, and I guess after some of my previous scrapes, I just finally ran out. And as long as the rest of you are alright, I’m content with that. Please don’t blame yourself for whatever happened if the circumstances make you of a mind to. I know you take it personally when I do not come back in one piece after a mission. Whatever happened to me, it was probably either my choice, my fault, or something totally out of your control, so do NOT blame yourself.

Sometimes our luck just runs out.

Thank you for everything that you have done for me these past almost five years. I cannot put into words how much your friendship, your guidance, and your help have meant to me. Perhaps if we actually had a mind-meld like Kenny always jokes we do, I might be able to express it better. In many ways, I think that I learned more from you during those first sixth months as your partner than I did in the years I spent upstairs. You spent hours training me how to survive in the woods; you spent hours training with me as we learned how to work together; and you took the time to patiently answer all my question, time all given freely without complaint. You always watched my back. You never got impatient with my quirks and my ticks—I know some of them can get annoying—and you always found a way to help me through my panic attacks once you know about my issues.

These almost five years with you and the team have been the best in my life since I was a kid. I once decried the benefits of having a team and not working alone—after my old unit, can you blame me?—but I didn’t understand what I was missing until I met all of you. You and the others have been the family I haven't had since my parents passed.

You were my partner and my best friend, and for our time together I will always be thankful.

Take care, and as I already said, don’t blame yourself if you’re of the mind to. I will find a way to come back and haunt you.

Very fondly yours,  
Kateri


End file.
